Joey’s Week 3 NFL Predictions

San Francisco 49ers at Cincinnati Bengals – Say what you will about Andy Dalton, but he has already proven himself to be the greatest red headed quarterback in NFL history. He’s breaking down the red headed color barrier as we speak and doing it to the tune of 66 percent of his passes completed. Move over Todd Marinovich, there’s a new sheriff in town.

Prediction: Bengals 21 49ers 16

New England Patriots at Buffalo Bills – This is the biggest game of the past ten years for the Bills. They’re 2-0, have scored 79 points in two games (!), and will be playing at a home stadium filled with frost bitten alcoholic sheep herders ready for something to cheer for. The Bills have gotten better, but they haven’t gotten that much better. I’m also pretty sure the team from New England has a darn good offense itself.

Prediction: Patriots 31 Bills 20

Houston Texans at New Orleans Saints – The trademark of the Gary Kubiak Texans has been talent, more talent, and losing on the road. They beat Miami in Miami last week, but that shouldn’t count (Miami has lost 8 out of 9 at home). This is a real test against a damn good team and without Arian Foster that task becomes even more difficult.

Prediction: Saints 24 Texans 17

Miami Dolphins at Cleveland Browns
Prediction: Dolphins 27 Browns 21

New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles –
Prediction: Eagles 24 Giants 20

Denver Broncos at Tennessee Titans –
Prediction: Broncos 20 Titans 10

Detroit Lions at Minnesota Vikings –
Prediction: Vikings 17 Lions 14 (Upset of the Week)

Jacksonville Jaguars at Carolina Panthers –
Prediction: Panthers 21 Jaguars 9

Kansas City Chiefs at San Diego Chargers – The first two weeks of an NFL season tell you a few things. Which players are bound for breakout seasons (Matthew Stafford, Kenny Britt, possibly Ben Tate), which teams could sneak up on people and make the playoffs (Raiders, Lions, Bills, Redskins), and which teams are going to be so bad Whitney Cummings wouldn’t cast them in her next sitcom. That team is the Kansas City Chiefs. If you are a degenerate gambler and want to make a lot of money this year, bet against the Chiefs and do it often.

Prediction: Chargers 41 Chiefs 16

New York Jets at Oakland Raiders – The Raiders may draft players based solely on their 40 times, they may harbor more criminals than a halfway house, they may have an owner who’s been dead since 1997, but this team is good. Good like “if the Chargers sleepwalk through half a season and continue to be coached by Norv Turner we could win the AFC West” good. That’s why I’m taking them for my 2nd upset special of the week to take down the 2-0 Jets at home. East coast teams typically don’t travel well across the country and I’m thinking Mark Sanchez, Plaxico Burress, and Co. leave their weapons at home and pick up their first loss.

Prediction: Raiders 23 Jets 20

Baltimore Ravens at St Louis Rams
Prediction: Ravens 27 Rams 17

Atlanta Falcons at Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Prediction: Falcons 21 Buccaneers 13

Arizona Cardinals at Seattle Seahawks
Prediction: Seahawks 17 Cardinals 16

Green Bay Packers at Chicago Bears – I’m taking the Bears in this game. They lost at home in last year’s NFC Championship game to the Packers, their hated rivals, in a game known more for Jay Cutler’s knee injury than for the Packers winning (though it should have been remembered for B.J. Raji’s killer touchdown dance). Revenge games almost always end well for the team that lost the previous season (See: Ravens-Steelers Week One).

Prediction: Bears 28 Packers 21

Pittsburgh Steelers at Indianapolis Colts –
Prediction: Steelers 30 Colts 10

Washington Redskins at Dallas Cowboys –
Prediction: Cowboys 24 Redskins 13

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